for my information..

and yours, because i appreciate any input...


I've always been interested in a career in the 'Health' department of life. I don't know why, probably because I want to say I helped people, and I was always pretty good at biology. :P Options?

- Diagnostic Medical Sonography (Ultrasound techincian)
   - 26 month program
   - need Physics 30 (ew..)

- Medical Labratory Assistant
   - 19 weeks (promising!)
   - $3,921
   - have to be able to type 30wpm (I usually do around 90!! Ha!)

- Rehabilitation Therapy Assistant
   - 14 months
   - year one : $3,779
   - year two : $1,372
   - textbooks : $1,500


empty words full of promise.

- sometimes 2 year olds just don't want to nap. good thing i only deal with her until 5, cause i'm pretty sure she's gonna be nasty tonight.

- sometimes wind is beautiful. like right now. mclaren's have this gorgeous weeping willow (is that what they're actually called?) tree in their front yard, and the long branches are full of yellow and green leaves, and they're blowing and it's gorgeous. and every now and then a HUGE gust of wind will come along and pick up all the leaves off the street and the neighbor's yards and just blow them around in the sky. it's incredible.

- drive-thru subway is actually delicious.

- it's okay go to go bed at 9:30. it's also a good idea to make sure that when you reset the time on your alarm clock, that you differentiate between AM and PM. my mom woke me up at 6:30am today. THANK GOODNESS, because my alarm clock was planning on waking me up at 6:30pm. now, that would have been awesome.. but maybe not..

- i need to stop watching 'i didn't know i was pregnant', because i keep having dreams about me having babies that i didn't know about!!!

- people in raymond have big freaking mouths, and they think they know everything.

- high school girls are a lot more immature than i remember them being when i was in high school. (you know. like 5 months ago..)

- my boyfriend is awesome.

- myriam is also awesome. i do love that girl.

- one day i want to be famous and say smart, witty, clever things because then girls like me - with no lives - will google search 'clever quotes' and find a spew of things i've said, which they will then proceed to copy and paste to post in their blog, or as their facebook status. ex.// "When [he] kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe..And the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you.. It's overwhelming."

- my life is so boring.

OH! okay. so here's what happened in my life yesterday. it was possibly the longest day ever!!

first, i was an idiot and didn't go to bed until like 2am sunday night/monday morning. i then had to be up at 6:30 because my ultrasound was at 7:15. i walked into the radiology clinic (which, by the way, got me intrigued in a career as an ultrasound techincian? any one have an opinion on that?) and checked in, then i sat down beside a couple about my grandparents age. the woman looked at me, then whispered - loudly, might i point out - to her husband.. 'pregnant. tsk tsk. i wonder where her mother is..' yeah. whatever. so i had the ultrasound, la de da, then we went to eat at denny's. i haven't been there since like grade 10, when i was hanging out with david and mike and matt and chelsie and josh. it was delicious!! but then i was so exhausted that i crashed. i slept in the van until like 10. then we went and bought me a car! yay! it's a white, 1998 dodge neon - i'll post a picture when i get home - and then i went and got contacts, went home, ate lunch with carter and nathan (hugh jass!!), made cookies.. yeah. good stuff. then me and carter decided to go to lethbridge. so we did. car, beauty. running SO good. then we got home, and we went in the house, and a couple minutes later we went back out and it wouldn't start! turns out it's just something simple, but it's still frustrating!

ps. michelle, is it okay for me to ignore taylor while i'm trying to get her to sleep? in the hope that she will sleep? or is 2 hours too long to wait for her to sleep? i think it might be because her room is really really hot.. but it usually is!

fun facts?

i have become obsessed with marilyn monroe quotes. i also am obsessed with adding things to my blog. deal with it.

today is marshall's 18th birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARSHIE!!

today is also the day that marks me and carter have been dating for 3 months. just saying. :)



` when we learn how to fly, 
we forget how to walk.

` when we learn how to sing, 
don't wanna hear each other talk.

` when we know what we want, 
we forget what we need.

` when you find who you are, 
you forget about me.

,,; here we are at the finish line.

*this photo belongs to andrew_mo on flickr.com *


:) 'nuff said.

Believe... in yourself, in love, in trust. In magic, in angels, in happy endings, in God, in promises, in miracles, in people, in fairy tales, in following your heart, in peace, in true happiness, in never growing up, in following your passions, in making your dreams come true, in promises, in helping people, in making the world a better place, in changing for the better.


girls night.

i used to be really close with a bunch of girls. like my whole last 2 years of high school we hung out all the time and had so much fun. but since i graduated and started dating carter i haven't seen lots of them. so last night we had a girls night! me and attena and sydnee and kimber! we went and saw 'you again', which was probably the best movie i've seen in a while. i cried of laughter through pretty much the entire thing. then we went to walmart and just ran around and hid and took some nice pictures of sydnee, then bought some food that we could take to kimber's and cook for her and leave the leftovers, cause she's a poor college student now. :P alfredo, salad, and cheesecake. it was divine. so i'd just like to thank these lovely ladies for a fantastic night out! :)


a good prank lives forever. you don't.

things that are relevant this week?...

"you don't need to give reasons for the things you do - you just have to do what you want. and sometimes the thing that seems messed up to everyone else is what's right for you. you have to do it and not be ashamed of it." - kristen stewart.

"there is no need to keep secrets. but then again, there's no need to tell the truth, either."

"dear turtle. why do we call you franklin? sincerely, beaver, bear, rabbit, snail, fox, skunk, goose, badger, otter, and raccoon."

"dear rose. there was definitely room on that raft for both of us. sincerely, jack."

"i gotta crush like an empty soda can." - down with webster.

"we are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

You're in our minds, keeping an eye on the world. So many thousands of feet off the ground. You're over us now, you're at home in the clouds, towering over our heads. R.I.P Stephen Tollestrup.

"you always make me smile.." - kyle andrews.

The product of complacency is sweatpants. - Owl City (Adam Smith)

"and after awhile, you learn that you

don`t need anyone else in order to
survive. no one else is ever going to
always be there. no matter what they
say or promise you. you just gotta
suck it up, accept it, and keep on
keepin` on"

its the little things you do that make me want to hold on for that much longer.

superlative phone conversations.

i love talking on the phone.

i love when my phone rings.

i love talking to carter on the phone way more than texting.

i like talking to myriam on the phone way more, because we both talk alot faster - and with a lot more emotion - than a text can convey.

i love talking on the phone because it's so much easier to say what you want to. and faster.

if texting had been invented first, we'd all be so excited that you could make a phone call and HEAR the person instead of just reading what they're saying.

granted, it's a lot easier to text during class (for carter and myriam), but i'd rather have a human conversation on the phone. that way it's not about dora or barney or caillou (ew) or playing house or counting pennies or the potty. hahah. i love my girls. :)


smile! :)

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.  ~Phyllis Diller

Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.  ~Jim Beggs

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.  ~Andy Rooney

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.  ~Author Unknown

A laugh is a smile that bursts.  ~Mary H. Waldrip

You're never fully dressed without a smile.  ~Martin Charnin

A smile can brighten the darkest day.  ~Author Unknown

Smile - it increases your face value.  ~Author Unknown


there's a first

for everything.

first steps.
first bike.
first kiss.
first job.
first car.
first surgery?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I'm probably the most sickly eighteen year old out there.

Really. How many eighteen year olds do you know with diabetes and gallstones? 

I mean, I'm not on a pity search. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I hate pity. But I'm sort of freaking out here! If I have these kind of health problems when I'm only eighteen.. What does the future hold for me?

So here's what happened. Last Wednesday, I woke up with cramps in my upper stomach, and the muscles in my upper back were killing me. I went to work with a bottle of extra strength Tylenol handy, and popped pills all day. I could hardly move, and I couldn't lift Taylor. Madi was a good girl and kept Taylor entertained all morning so I could just rest up. It got worse after I ate or drank pop. Thursday morning it still hurt, but it was more of a stiffness, so I just did the same thing. Popped pills. Thursday for lunch we went to McDonald's. Afterwards, I thought I was going to DIE! I was so sore, and the Tylenol wouldn't even help. Mom suggested gallstones. So I looked it up on WebMD. Lo and behold, the symptoms of gallstones are : pain or discomfort, bloating or fullness, nausea or vomiting, yellow skin, tenderness to touch, yellow eyes, fever (slight), upper back pain. Ta-da! There was my problem! I had the same problem on Friday too, so I called and made an appointment with Dr. Greg Smith. This morning, after I told him what was going on, he automatically said 'gallstones'. Surprise! So he got me an appointment for an ultrasound - next Monday - and from there we'll get a date for surgery. 




what is this life? is it a reality? or is it a dream? or a dream inside a dream? are we the architects of our own reality? or is there some projection of our subconscious mind that creates the world we inhabit?

i love inception.

it's the freaking craziest movie i've ever seen. leaves you thinking, and freaking out. makes you wonder how in heaven's merciful name they filmed some of the scenes, and leonardo dicaprio still leaves your heart beating every time the camera zooms in on his gorgeous blue eyes.

i'm smitten.

thank you, carter, for the wonderful evening.

thank you, adrian, for suggesting 'inception'.

thank you, christopher nolan, for directing this movie.

thank you, joseph gordon-levitt, for being in 'angels in the outfield', so, so long ago, and growing up to be so attractive in this movie.

thank you, leo, for also being so dang hot and making this movie amazing.

and thank you, ellen page, for being in a serious movie, for now i don't see you as only a pregnant teenager. although i think you were much better in 'juno' than you were in 'inception'. but i won't judge you.



sometimes i feel like it's absolutely necessary for me to write a blog. but nothing blog-worthy has happened since i blogged yesterday. which leaves me with the conclusion that i am addicted to blogger, the same way i am with facebook. is this a problem? not really.. but i think my followers - if i have any - are going to be really bored with  me blogging all the time!!

*sidenote - date with carter tonight! thanks to his little brother!! i'm so excited!



Oh, how glorious the weekend is! I love my job because well, first, I love the girls. It's really easy going and such, AND I get Mondays off!! So my weekends are long every weekend! :) By the time Friday gets here, I'm desperate to get out of the house, and I can't wait for 5 o'clock. So today, to get out of the house, we went and got pedicures!! The girls were so good and patient and me and Madi both have beautiful nails. :) Taylor was too little, the lame-o woman wouldn't paint her nails.. But whatever. I have wanted a pedicure for so long. I think the last one I had was like before we went to Hawaii. It's been awhile. It was long overdue. But the negative side of this Friday is the miserable weather. It's so cold!! :( It's only like 3C, and it's been raining and sort of snowing all day!! However.. My awesome bf doesn't work tonight, so I think we're gonna go to the RHS/CHS game. Watch some Cougar butt get kicked. I look forward to the game! I LOVE FOOTBALL!! :)


The Boys of Fall.

When I feel that chill, smell that fresh cut grass;
I’m back in my helmet, cleats, and shoulder pads,
Standing in the huddle, listening to the call.
Fans going crazy for the boys of fall.

They didn’t let just anybody in that club;
It took every ounce of heart and sweat and blood
To get to wear those game-day jerseys down the hall
The kings of the school, man, we’re the boys of fall.

In little towns like mine, that’s all they’ve got;
Newspaper clippings fill the coffee shops.
The old men will always think they know it all,
Young girls will dream about the boys of fall

Well it’s turn to face the stars and stripes,

It’s fighting back them butterflies.
It’s call it in the air, alright,
Yes sir, we want the ball.
And it’s knocking heads and talking trash,
It’s slinging mud and dirt and grass.
It’s I got your number, I got your back
When your back’s against the wall.
You mess with one man, you got us all.
The boys of fall.

- Kenny Chesney. <3


so much better.

I had another bad day. I'm having some weird pains in my stomach and back, so they just made me cranky. Then the stupid car wouldn't start again, so I had an awkward drive home. But then I discovered a few things that make me so much happier.

First. Talking to Carter. We don't even talk about anything. We're mostly silent, actually. But it helps!

Second. Institute. Today was our first class, and I'm so excited that Bro. Bik is our teacher!! Return to the AWESOME!

Third. Diet Coke.

Life is good. Ish. Haha!



People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily - that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve… I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either. I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching.

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling. 

Never be discouraged. If I were sunk in the lowest pits of Nova Scotia, with the Rocky Mountains piled on me, I would hang on, exercise faith, and keep up good courage, and I would come out on top. 

Miss Myriam.

The love of my life. That is all. :) Haha. We're like pretty much best friends by now. :) Good thing, too. Cause we talk about everything and everyone and we gossip like it's no one's business - cause it isn't! We talk about boys and about school and life and stupid people and people we love. Sometimes we even like to hang out. :) But most of the time we just text and talk on the phone. But yeah. This girl is amazing. She's beautiful and hilarious and she has an amazing voice and a great personality. :) How many smilies can I even put in one post?!?! HAHA! :) Oops. And we do each other favors too. Sometimes. And we're not afraid to tell each other when the other one is being annoying or stupid or a BRAT!! PAHA. Anyways.. I love you, Myriam! I'm glad we're not fighting anymore!! :)

Ps. Everytime I hear "Magic" by B.O.B I think of you.. Just sayin'.

You've got the magic!!!!



So I've discovered a new talent / hobby. BAKING! I love making cookies!! My favorites are Heather's chocolate chip and peanut butter (not my exact recipe, but it's pretty close!). I also love Grandma's Cowboy Cookies (chocolate chip oatmeal) and snickerdoodles. But I'm looking for some more cookie recipes! So if you have a favorite - or a kind you'd like me to try to find a recipe for! - just let me know! Facebook me, comment on here, or text me.  :)



You Always Make Me Smile - Kyle Andrews
"..I don't know why I love you, I just know I can't stop thinking of you. Oh, wait! It's 'cause you make me smile! You always make me smile!"

Smile - Uncle Kracker
"..You're cooler than the flip side of my pillow, that's right!"

Dance Forever - Allstar Weekend

Somebody To Love - Justin Bieber ft. Usher

Disgusting - Ke$ha

Don't Let Your Feet Touch Ground - Ash Koley
(Coolest music video ever..)

Perfect Two (Acoustic) - Auburn

She's Happy - Auburn

Magic - B.O.B ft. Rivers Cuomo

Wouldn't It Be Nice - Beach Boys

Halo - Bethany Joy Lenz

Sour Candy - Carly Rae Jepsen ft. Josh Ramsay

You Got Me - Colbie Caillat

Belle of the Boulevard - Dashboard Confessional

Beautiful - Eminem
- Eminem uses vulgar language. Just remember that.

Love the Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna

Good Vibrations - Gym Class Heroes

Hands Up - Hedley

Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye

Ridin Solo - Jason Derulo

2012 - Jay Sean ft. Nicki Minaj

Hold On - Michael Buble
I love this man. That is all.

Fever - Michael Buble

I'm In - Keith Urban

'Cause The Chicks Dig It - Chris Cagle

Stars Tonight - Lady Antebellum

Never Alone - Lady Antebellum ft. Jim Brickman

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows - Lesley Gore

The Heart Never Lies - McFly

Maybe, Possibly - Megan and Liz

Come What May - Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The Only Exception - Paramore

Yes I Do - Rascal Flatts

Stand - Rascal Flatts

I'll Be There For You (Friends Theme) - The Rembrandts

Swing Life Away - Rise Against

Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope

Paperweight - Schuyler Fisk ft. Joshua Radin

You And I - Secondhand Serenade (His new album - "Hear Me Now" - is amazing.)

I Wish - Skee-Lo

I'm Awesome - Spose

Passenger's Seat - Stephen Speaks

Out Of My League - Stephen Speaks

Stuck Like Glue - Sugarland

Mine - Taylor Swift

I Heart ? - Taylor Swift

Where Does The Good Go? - Tegan and Sara

The Finish Line - Train

When The Stars Go Blue - Tyler Hilton and Bethany Joy Lenz

Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go) - Wham!

Got Whatever It Is - Zac Brown Band

Highway 20 Ride - Zac Brown Band

Toes - Zac Brown Band

Free - Zac Brown Band

As She's Walking Away - Zac Brown Band ft. Alan Jackson

Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band

How I Go - Yellowcard ft. Natalie Maines

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry


money management?

now that i'm officially an adult with a steady income.. i've made a list of 'large ticket items' i need to purchase.

first and foremost - my car. or i should say A car, since i'm selling mine. this will be purchased by way of monthly payments to my fajja.

second - a laptop! i'm gonna need one for school eventually, and i'm gonna want one when i move out, so i'd best just buy one already! (however, i'm hoping for christmas i get one.. :P so i'm waiting.)

i need to pay to get a new screen for my iphone.

i need a new straightener and blow dryer.

i'm going to buy a gym membership. i haven't decided if i want to do it in lethbridge (i could go after work?) or in raymond (close to home.. go whenever i want?). because i need to get in some semblance of shape. maybe i'll lose another jean size or two!!

an ihome!

maybe a tv? but maybe not, cause if i get a laptop i can just watch movies! :)

i also need a new wardrobe. like really. new shoes, new socks, new pants, new underwear!, new shirts, sweaters, hoodies, jackets, winter coat..

ohh and i'm going to go snowboarding / skiing this season and see if i want to buy skis or a snowboard or a membership or something. you know? hmm..

did i mention that i'm also trying to save for school? and i have to pay for gas to drive to lethbridge every day? and i pay tithing twice a month? ha ha ha. i'm terrible...


on again!

I'm THRILLED to announce that I am back on my insulin pump!

(I can year you all saying.. Your what? Huh? Come again?)

Well, it's my alternative method of insulin intake.. And it means I only have to have ONE giant needle every like week. :) I'm SO EXCITED!!

Here  is the website that explains it all.

Read it, love it, be jealous of me. (But not really.)

Not to mention, it's going to be a lot easier to take care of myself now!


i feel like i'm really lacking in everything right now. my social life is non-existant. my self-confidence level is below low. but i don't even know what to do about it. there are so many amazing people in my life, and i keep finding myself comparing ME to THEM. and i don't even remotely compare. it's really frustrating. plus, i feel like i expect too much from people. i just want to be happy and to make people happy. so far, not so good. maybe this week will get better.. but it's only tuesday and i'm already predicting a terrible week. :(


for future reference..

Ever since I graduated - a whole 2 months ago! - people have been asking me what my plans for 'the future' are. Scary, right? Yeah. Especially since I don't really have any. I've been setting short term goals. You know, like.. 'Pass diplomas!', 'Get a job!', 'Get a car!', 'Hang out with Carter!', 'Spend whole paycheck on clothes that I don't really need, but that are really cute!'. But then I got to thinking about it, and I actually do have some future plans. So for those of who you are wondering..

I'm planning on finishing my year of work with the McLaren family. This should be sometime between May and August of 2011. 

In September 2011, I want to start going to school at the 
where I plan on taking the Massage Therapy 
program. The first year is all the book learning stuff, and the second year is more 'hands on' - no pun intended! - stuff. When I'm done my schooling, at the ripe old age of 21 (or later! There's absolutely no rush on this!) I'll befriend, charm, date, and marry a
returned missionary!! in the

Laie, Hawaii temple. I think this is the most beautiful temple on the most beautiful island in the entire world. But don't worry, everyone.. There will be a reception in Raymond. :)

Oh, by the way, I plan on wearing
this. Maybe. You never know.. I change my mind as often as I change my socks. Which is about 3 times a day. At least. 

After we've been married for a year (or longer! Seriously, no rush!), we'll start having children. :) And then I'll be privileged to join the amazing women in my life that drive 

this baby around. Jealous? Well, don't be. It's a beast. 

I'm going to have a little blonde girl, with blue eyes.. A little redhead girl, with green eyes.. And a little brunette boy, with brown eyes. 

And this, my friends, is where my future plans fade away. I've never thought past the point of having kids. Eventually, I'm going to die. But I thought that might be a little bit depressing to blog about. So I'm not. :)


the last song.

when my world is falling apart..
when there's no light to break up the dark..
when the waves are flooding the shore, and i can't find my way home anymore.. 
that's when i look at you.


5 day weekends.

this week - the shortest work week ever.. only two days! - i learned some things.

there is, in fact, an apple store in calgary. at market mall. and they do, in fact, replace iphone 3gs screens. you know. hypothetically. just in case i should ever need a replacement.

iphone 3gs screens smash relatively easily.

american eagle jeans - especially the artist fit - make my 'bum look good', according to taylor. and according to me. i love them.

not going to school rocks. but not leaving the mclaren's house for hours at a time is super lame. i get so bored so easily. and when i'm bored i get frustrated super easily.

crafts with a 2 year old and a 5 year old are a lot easier said than done. note to self, wait until taylor is napping until attempting the next craft.

taylor doesn't like having paint on her hands.

or her pants.

or her stomach.

or her feet.

taylor doesn't like paint.

paychecks disappear rather quickly.