as i type this i'm having a skype conversation with my incredible boyfriend. :) i loveth him.

See? I took this while I was uploading the other picture! Haha!

Also, look at this. Before and after.

August 2010. We had been dating for a month and a half. He had yet to join the army, and I was.. 18.

March 2011. Dating for 9 months. Look at our pretty teeth! And how much we've grown up! AH! I love him.


L 0 V 3.

Remember this? How I was so frustrated? My, how surprising life can be. It's completely turned around. Everything is falling into place. And it is absolutely amazing. :)


yeah, thanks a lot.

i think my subconscious mind is angry with me.

there i was, sitting on the beach in hawaii, watching some university students wakeboard down a crevice in the rock face. kimber was on one side of me, dustin and sydnee on the other. carter was off buying refreshments. the sun was beaming down, sharing it's perfect warmth with everyone in sight. it was gorgeous. i could feel my skin crisping, and my brow was moist with sweat. i really wanted to go jump in the ocean to cool off, but i enjoyed the heat too much. then i saw carter meandering back to us, bottles of ice water in his hands. i watched him approach us, hand out the bottles, then he brought one over to me. he was unscrewing the lid, and i expected him to give it to me so i could quench my thirst. but no. he dumped the water over my head, dousing me in a frozen cascade of otherwise perfectly good drinking water. then the sun disappeared. the world became dark, and cold. when i opened my eyes again, i wasn't on a tropical beach paradise, but in my bedroom. outside my window was not palm trees and blue sky, but snow, snow, and more snow. so here i am, having ''hawaiian withdrawals''. this calls for a photo post. ya think? i think.

The end of a fabulous first day in Hawaii.

Laie Temple.

PCC. Mm, I love me some Polynesian men.


Me & Roxanne bought some new dresses.

Just relaxing.

Me mommy as a pineapple.

Me also as a pineapple!

Isn't this gorgeous? We drove around the East side of the island and found the most beautiful sites EVER. Ahh.


to dream, or not to dream.

My heart broke - for someone else - this morning. I know a dream is only a dream, but when it becomes difficult to discern between a dream and reality.. That's when the dream hurts. That's when you fear sleep, and when 'real life' feels like a waking nightmare. I only hope I can help disperse any remaining feelings of doubt and betrayal.



i am so glad our society grew out the use of corsets.

balloons aren't as frightening as i made them out to be.

video games are stupid.

snow sucks.

i hope i get called into primary.

hair extensions? sure, why not.

i get to sleep in tomorrow! yay!

i think i will watch 'the sound of music' while i curl my hair tomorrow.

i have to make sure my hair is actually cute tomorrow. :(


it seems the older you get, the more complicated life becomes.


mm. blair.

k, watch this video. i found blair like.. 2 years ago, probably. and no, i'm not into her fashion channel [juicystar07], unless i need to watch how she curls her hair or something.. but i LOVE her vlog channel [otherjuicystar07]. she does these tag videos all the time, and i decided i wanted to do one. i was going to actually vlog it, but i look terrible right now. haha. :)

question one.
- what do you think you can do, but can't?
     draw. i pretend that i love drawing people, and flowers, and just all sorts of garbage.. but i'm actually a terrible artist.

question two.
- what is a difficult word for you to pronounce?
     wensday. and congradulations. [weDnEsday and congraTuations]
     also, carter says i pronounce "cheerios" weird..

question three.
- what is your favorite tv show from your childhood?
     the amanda show. hands down.

question four.
- what are your virtues (good qualities) and vices (bad qualities)?
     i think my good qualities are that i'm easy to talk to, and a good listener. but on the other hand, my bad qualities are that i have too much to say, and i'd rather say what someone wants to hear than what i want to say.

question five.
- what is more important: love, power, fame, or money?
     uh, love. duh.

question six.
- if you could live in any era or time period, what would it be, and why?
     i would have loved to be born in the early 1940s, so that i could live in the most inspirational time period EVER. the time of poodle skirts and sock hops, the beatles and elvis presley, the invention of so many amazing devices. would i have been a hippie, or a rebel? ah. i don't even know. but that's what i would have loved to grown up in. not that anything is wrong with this time period, but it just seems so... boring.

question seven.
- if you could recreate your wardrobe using only two stores, what would they be and why?
     k, this is such a hard question. um.. i think definitely warehouse one, and pacsun. or aeropostale, and pacsun. or wet seal and aeropostale.

question eight.
- can you recall what you were doing exactly a year ago today?
     march 21.. hm. it's safe to say that i slept in until about 1030, then got up and went to church.

question nine.
- do you have reoccurring dreams? if so, explain.
     not really, but i have dreams that continue from the last one!

question ten.
- what is your horoscope?
     k, i've never understood this question. does it mean like what is my sign? or do they want to know what my horoscope is today? because i'm a leo. and this means my horoscope for today is right here.

question eleven.
- what does your dream bedroom look like?
     i want.. here. i'll draw a picture. the floors will be hardwood, and the walls will all be off white, except the wall that my bed is on. it'll be like.. a light blue. and also, under the window is where my little puppy dogs will have a bed. :)

question twelve.
- what position do you sleep in?
     i usually fall asleep on my left side. sometimes on my stomach. but i wake up on my back.

question thirteen.
- who is your favorite vampire of all time?
     it's a tie. between.. jasper hale, and emmett cullen. jasper is just so awkward, and emmett is so funny! i love them. haha. :)

question fourteen.
- what are you wearing on your feet?
     nothing. they're really cold.

question fifteen.
- do you have neat handwriting? show us!
     here. another picture.


in a perfect world:

stickers all peel off clean.

the weather man is always right.

the most wrinkled dollars are accepted by machines.

bags of chips are full.

markers do not bleed through the page.

there is always milk for the cereal.

the other sock never goes missing.

the pencil lead does not break off when you sharpen it.

the perforated page tears out clean every time.

all of the popcorn kernels pop.

people respond to texts immediately.

someone always has a pen.

in other news....

I think this may have been their first exposure to PhotoBooth. I don't know why it's taken me since July to introduce them to it!! Haha!! Anyways, they loved it! And after this we went to Ethan's farm and he let us pet some cows! It was pretty fun, and Taylor LOVE LOVE LOVED it. Madi, not so much. She was afraid that the mama cow was gonna come attack us cause we were petting her calf. Or that the calf was going to lick her, which I don't really understand, since her dog licks her all the time. But whatever. I really enjoyed it. Thanks again to Ethan for taking us on a farm tour!!


I dyed my hair. It's basically black. I think that Lori (our director) or Pudge (our hairstylist), or both, are going to kill me cause now I might look like one of the Native kids instead of a show girl. Ah, well. I really like it. Thoughts?



it's snowing right now.

and i am PISSED.

that is all.


like a puzzle.

That's how I feel today. Like a puzzle. I feel like I'm trying to piece my life together, but there is something missing. Or a piece of the puzzle is turned the wrong way. It's just not falling together like I thought (hoped?) it would. It's incredibly infuriating. In fact, I was up WAY too late last night, arguing my argument, defending my defenses, point out my points.. To no avail. If anything, the pieces are just becoming more topsy turvied and confused. I guess I always imagined that when I found something that was right for me, that I wanted for the rest of my life, that it would just work out. Simple as that. That the pieces would all fit perfectly, and that communicating what I wanted would be easy, without any disagreement. Reality is a harsh place, isn't it?


Annie, Get Your Gun!

I'm so confused. I really still don't understand anything that goes on in this play. I'm sure if I sat down and watched it I'd be fine.. But as it is, I am actually in it (whaaaaat?! haha jokes) so I just suffer in silence. Please, come see it, and explain it to me. kthanks.

My retainers are annoying. I can't sing with them in, so I don't wear them to rehearsal. But apparently my teeth move a lot at rehearsal, so they hurt to put back in!

Sydnee and Jessica are both here this week! :) So fun!

I have a bad feeling that the shower in my bathroom is.. Unsanitary. The water kind of stinks. However, it could just be my imagination. I need to ask my mom to check it out tomorrow.



It's a new day.



It's the best feeling in the whole world. I ate like 4 apples yesterday. Right off the core! And today I got my retainers - ouch. But they'll do. :) Anyone wanna come get some pictures done at DeJourdan's with me? I got a gift certificate!!

I'm so happy about life.


In other news.. Carter's amazing family is moving down tonight. I can't wait to see his sisters again!! I LOVE them!!

And also.. Jessica is home!! :) I love that girl a lot. 

The following pictures are on ''her team''. FAIL! HAHAHAHA



this is the last picture you'll see of me with braces on!!!!


carter died.


but i can't find him!!

also, i just locked my keys in my car. for the first time EVER.  I'm terribly embarrassed.

and the weather was beautiful today.

actually, it's still rather beautiful. :)

i think that spring has sprung!

(this calls for a change of background..)


You will notice me.
I'll be leaving my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree, you wait and see.
Maybe I'll write like Twain wrote,
Maybe I'll paint like Van Gogh.
Cure the common cold, I don't know.
Maybe I'll compose symphonies.
Maybe I'll fight for world peace.
'Cause I know it's my destiny to leave more than a trace of myself in this place.

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on its ear.
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given.
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life.
And I know that I will do more than just pass through this life,
eave nothing less than something that says 
And I'll leave nothing less than something that says,



After much fretting and stewing and worrying and stressing and hoping and praying..

I did it! I got accepted to the Medical Transcription certificate program at the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology

I'm super excited to start this new chapter of my life. And scared. And nervous. But mostly excited. I guess my next step is to get meself another job so I can pay the tuition! lol! And I'd best be finding myself a place to live in EDMONTON!

AHHH I'm finally leaving the nest!!!

(Ps.. Anyone living in or around Edmonton.. If you know of a place in the NW - or anywhere, really - that will have a place for me in the fall, let me know ASAP! And also, if you know anywhere that Carter might life - preferably close to where I'll be living lol - let me know also!!)


it's the weekend.

{I dare you} to tell someone how much they mean to you.

{I dare you} to apologize to someone you hurt, or to forgive someone who hurt you.

{I dare you} to put away your phone, or your computer, and talk to someone you miss.

{I dare you} to dance.

{I dare you} to tell someone they're beautiful.


{I dare you} to build a snowman. A real, legit snowman.

{I dare you} to smile at a stranger. It might make their day.

{I dare you} to cheer for the underdog.

{I dare you} to spend time with someone you love. Feel free to lose track of time.


AWKWARD/awesome ThUrSdAy!

- This color. It reminds me of old people.
- 16 year old boys who are just all around in a super awkward stage.
- Walking in Walmart with Carter when he's in his uniform. Are we allowed to hold hands? I don't know! Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't!
- Getting in trouble in Walmart, then being followed around by some creepy lady in one of those hideous blue smocks! [It's not like we were even changing the sign.. That much. Ok, so maybe the bookshelf went from being $98 to $9800..]
- PeOpLe WhO tYpE lIkE tHiS!

- This color! (I'm kind of in a purple fettish right now. It's driving Carter crazy.)
- Shopping with Carter and my mama.
- When Carter wears his new clothes that he didn't want to buy in the first place, but I basically shoved down his throat.
- Watching Bambi with the little girls. They're loving it!
- Naps.
- Finishing my application for school!!
- Typing 105 WPM to finish my application for school. :)
- Giving Val notice about me quitting. She made it very awkward. "Well, okay, but I just don't know what I'm gonna do for a couple months. It's gonna be really difficult." Ah, well. That's your problem, not mine. [If anyone is wondering, Val and I do get along usually, I'm just having a hard time with her right now.]

Well, I don't really have much else to say. It's kind of been a long, boring week. I think I'm gonna go watch Bambi, maybe even sneak in a little 20 minute nap! *SCORE!*


I am so confused!

So I called NAIT today to find out what's what with my application. And I found out that all I have to do to complete it is take a silly typing speed test! So I did.. And here is my result.

K, so what if I type 105 WPM? It's really not a big deal. I had 7 errors! :( Boo hoo. Anyways, now I don't know what to do with this! The woman on the phone said to email it to someone.. Or fax it.. But the only way I could even download it was to take a picture of my desktop (as seen above..) and I don't know if they'll take that as trustworthy or not! So I gotta call NAIT again in the morning and see if they can direct me to the right place..

*Ps! Take the test and let me know what your WPM is! :)


Winter Blues.

I am so sick of being cold.

I am so sick of colds!

I miss the sunshine so much!

I miss Hawaii so much!

I want one of these puppies.

I also wouldn't mind one of these.

I love this ring and this dress [okay, well I actually love like 12 of the dresses on this site..].

I can't get enough of this song.

I miss Jessica and David.

I like... mono? ;) [bahaha]